My mom died seven years ago and I feel no grief.
I was talking with a friend the other day, who happens to be a rabbi and is extremely verbally persuasive, who insisted that if you love someone and they die, you experience grief. If you don't, then it means you didn't love them.
I have a different take on it. I had people die before my mom died. I felt what I understand to be grief. I had a difficult time accepting that they had died; I felt sorrow and a tearing inside and despair. It hurt a lot. That was grief.
But when my mom died I just felt love. And I have felt that way every day since.
Sometimes I miss her. But that is as close as I have come to grief.
I feel her close by. I feel her in my heart. I feel her love. I feel my love for her.
She was ready to die. We said our goodbyes. We expressed our love. I knew all her wishes. She was at peace. She was reaching for death and so tenderly ready.
After she died, I realized grief was optional.
Is grief love with no place to go?
I felt a deep love and it always had a place to go. Right to her, in spirit.
I keep sending her love. I feel like she is okay out there somewhere.
Maybe my friend and I are just having a semantical debate.
I like to think we can transform the way we think about grief by the way we think about death.
Love you, Mom!
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