People are writing their own obituaries before they die. There are a handful of common questions obituary writing guides often ask. But my favorite one is 'who will miss you the most'.
I think of who I miss the most and by far it is my mom, with her unconditional, unwavering love. I try to give that to my kids and think they will miss having my love the way I miss having my mom's love. I miss her in a sweet, loving way.
And that seems right, fair, in alignment with life's natural laws.
But I also miss Shauna, my college friend who was brutally raped and murdered by the Marin County Trail Killer way back in 1981. I miss her in a painful, gut wrenching way because she didn't get to live out her life because someone's sick and perverse will overpowered her beautiful and kind spirit.
Who else will miss me? I have a small group of people who I love very much and it is a toss up as to who will die before me. My partner and I talk sometimes about me dying before he does and I love his ideas for caring for me at the end. I am all for that.
But its the random moments of connections with people that I don't know well or even at all that I will miss the most; the person on the train who was reading about Nietsche, the student in my class, the auto mechanic, the cook at my favorite taqueria, the person in line next to me at Sprouts who also loves chai, the end of life client, my new doula friend. Its that chance to share kindness, love, or a closeness designed to remind us that indeed, we are all just walking each other home.
I would love to hear, who will miss you the most?
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